moment of realization1SHOT
by LovelyLuck49
Summary: Ryan tries and thinks why is marissa leaving for greace on the night of graduation. one shot RM


**Moment of Realization( one shot)**

A/N: this is just a one shot, and my first post on this website. Well its set the night of graduation and Ryan is trying to figure out why Marissa is so appealed to go work on her dad's boat instead of going off to college with him.

He sat there in the pool house after the celebration at The Yacht Club with Summer, Seth, and of course… Marissa, who have all gone home or back in the house. Marissa was leaving tomorrow, and all he could do was wonder why she was making this choice? Was it him? Was it her break up with Volcheck or the weird connection beginning to form between them? Or was it simply she wasn't ready for college?

Why did he break up with her? They weren't working, simply, but that was no excuse to end it. What am I a coward? Afraid of commitment? He questioned himself. Marissa was the love of his life and he always had known that but after many break ups, he felt it was annual happening and part of their natural cycle. They get together, break up, try friendship, and get back together again, break up, and the cycle continued. Had he pushed it too far and now she was afraid to ever get romantically close with him? He sighed and clasped his hands over his weary eyes in thought and blocking out the dim lights in the Pool House. As he listened to Seth's Boyz-2-Men and Various Artists mixed CD, which Seth claimed helped for clearing the mind; he started to pay attention to the lyrics of the song playing.

**I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, Myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
Its time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry**

The song made him open his eyes and remeber the conversation they had earlier today at The Yacht Club.

_He was staring out into the ocean when she tapped him on the shoulder._

_" Ryan?" she questioned bringing him out of his trance " I have to do this you know? I have to become myself and learn to be independent before I go to college. I mean accedemically I'm prepared, but mentaly, socialy and emotionaly, I need improvement on. Im not running from you, I'm going to find out who I really am, and I promise I will keep in touch with you, I just don't want to end up relapsing to my old way again and end up hooking up with randoms, I don't even love." At this she noticed uneassyness in his eyes " But I do love one person, and he'll always have my heart." She smiled at him and put her hand on top of his, and he smiled at her too._

That's when he finally relized that he was not really the problem, If anything he helped her, showing her that she felt that she always need someone to love even if the love was blind. She needed to do this she was right, Tommarow, I'll tell her I understand why she has to do this… But that I wish she didn't have to at the airport, and that heart heart is safe forever with me as long as mine is always safe with her.

And he fell asleep finally with a smile on his face after having that moment of realization.

As he was driving her to the airport the drive was quiet as he was lost in thought about what he was going to say. " So are you ready?" he asked " honestly? I'm not sure…. But what about you leaving the cohens going to do the college thing?" she questioned " Im terrified!" he said honestly " Me too.."she stated " But I don't know if boats have email or anything like that.."he faeded off "I'll find a way to keep in touch" she finished for him with a smile. Quiet filled the car again, but not for long.

HONK

" What was that?" she asked calmly " Oh its this guy whose been following me, GO AHEAD PASS." He signalled as the car gained closer. "What is he doing?" Ryan asked himself. And that's how it all started, as the night of May 18th, 2006 passed marissa cooper died in arms of her one true love who never got to tell her how he truly felt about her " No!" he sobbed as she layid their restlest, lifeless, and dead on the side of the road with the cars in flames and the faint sounds of ambulences coming in the distance but little did they know, they were too late. Just like Ryan who was going to open up his heart to her but the timing was off, and that was a mistake he could never forgive himself for. Last night in the pool house was a break through for him, and he changed forever. He became one who was open and made sure that people knew how he felt about them. Marissa Cooper changed him for the better and he would always love her, more than she would ever know.

A/N: I know that the song Big Girls Don't Cry wasn't in existice back then but it fit perfectly with what I was doing. So please comment cause I really am unsure of how people would like that.**  
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